Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Douche of the Day: NBC & Jay Leno
I write this blog today as I sit in my robe, doped up on Sudafed and DayQuil, with the voice of Darth Vader. I have the flu or a cold or what the fuck ever. Hence the lack of updates this week.
I wanted to make the douche of the day just Jay Leno, but I realized there is a bigger douche behind Jay Leno. You cannot mention one without the other in this context.
Let's run down what NBC has done to Conan. First mistake was giving Jay Leno his own show (AFTER he retired, might I add). Jay Leno isn't even funny. Okay so they give Conan the Tonight Show, move his family out to LA, whatever. Jay Leno's show winds up with terrible ratings (huge shocker) and it's this whole trickle-down effect... NBC moved shit around on their schedule to make room for Jay's show, and as a result, all their shows suffered.
I swear to god, NBC is like the fucking Grim Reaper. They have a popular soap opera, Days of Our Lives, and when the economy hit hard, yes it's time to trim the fat... so let's trim some of the lame ass characters they have on there, right? Wrong. NBC takes it upon themselves to cut out John & Marlena, two of the show's highest paid characters.. Yes that makes TOTAL sense. What kind of fuckery is this?!
So anyway, back to Conan. Leno's ratings when down the toilet bowl and what's the logical answer? Put all the shows back where they belong, and shit-can Jay Leno. Is that what they did? NO. Instead, they give the incredibly hilarious Jay Leno back his old TV show, because it did SO WELL before, and give CONAN the shit can! Not only that, but they're paying him around 35 million to STFU... and squeezed his nuts a little tighter by saying, "Oh PS, you aren't allowed to go to any other network until September... and if you do, we will only pay you the difference of what they pay you, up to 35 mil. And oh yeah, you can't use any of the characters and stuff you used on your show from NBC that YOU came up with creatively on you own with your writers... that's our property." NBC really stuck it in Conan good! I wonder if Conan can draw unemployment. He should throw himself down a flight of stairs at work and fill out a workman's comp claim. Twats!
What I want to know is how does Jay Leno have NBC's testicles in a vice like that? Leno should have been out like yesterday's fucking trash. Instead he was given back his old show he RETIRED FROM and the funny ginge Conan is kicked to the curb. NBC is run by a bunch of fucking goons. DOUCHE!