Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Douche of the Day: Perez Hilton

I am able to say this confidently as I was able to quit this douche's blog cold turkey, after a three year addiction. You know we've all been there... You read it but deep down want to punch him in the fucking neck anytime he posts something under "Personally Perez" because while he wonders why some celebs are relevant, I wonder why HE is relevant. And can someone please explain to me what the fuck he wears?

I love that MTV Cribs did a blurb on him, they come to his damn apartment which is the same square footage as my apartment which is $460 a month in rent, and I know I'm not going to be on MTV Cribs any time soon. I mean... what the hell? He's stuck up Lady Gaga's ass, acting like he was some talent scout that discovered her, and all he does for a living is draw splooge on people's faces and coke coming out of people's noses. Sometimes I hate America for this very reason.

The most twatty thing Perez did was this summer when Will.I.Am punched him straight in the snoot, and Perez TWEETS it, telling his followers in Canada to call 911! Hello, you're tweeting on the fucking phone, please call 911 yourself you fucking douche! And it all started because Perez, someone who was allegedly some voice for the gay community, chose to call him a choice gay slur. And when Perez promised to donate all money won in his lawsuit against Will.I.Am to the Matthew Shepard Foundation, they politely declined, saying that they could not accept the money because it was won on the account of him using a gay slur. That had to be fucking humiliating.

Perez is not only a douche, he's a fucking twat. The end.

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