Monday, November 9, 2009

Douche of the Day: Tom Cruise

Today's huge douche is none other than Tom Cruise. You've probably seen him doing gay bar tricks in "Cocktail", or being sweet with Goose in "Top Gun". You've seen him jump over a couch on Oprah, and you've seen his loonie meltdown with Matt Lauer over some shit with Brooke Shields that was none of his fucking business. Yes, Tom Cruise, we've met.

Tom Cruise is a special kind of douche I like to call a douche-a-loonie. His very public ass-clown antics concerning Scientology has turned him into the laughing stock of Hollywood. Speaking of laughs involving Tom Cruise, remember back in the day on the Rosie O'Donnell show when she was "in love" with Tom Cruise? Oh the irony. ANYWAY. Now word on the street is he's handing out the Scientology Smackdown to the naughty followers. This prompts the age-old joke, "What do you tell a naughty Scientologist with two black eyes?........... Nothing!! Tom Cruise done told their ass TWICE!"

But I digress. This douche-a-loonie needs a one-way ticket to the fucking cracker factory. Lock him up and throw away the key. Screw Tibet! Free Katie and Suri!


  1. Excellent. Just excellent. I hope you like my picture on here.