Sunday, November 22, 2009

Douche of the Day: Sandra Herold

While you might not know this douche by name, you do know her story. You all remember about that bitch who had the 200lb chimpanzee, Travis, who mauled her fucking friend and ate part of her face off, so bad the friend was up on Oprah looking like Two Face from "The Dark Knight" with shit oozing on national television. Yeah. You know who I mean.

A few things I'd like to know. 1. How do you acquire a fucking chimpanzee? I know they don't have them bitches at PetSmart. And it was like 20 years old so it isn't like she ordered him on the internet! So WTF! Did a zoo go out of business? Did someone put an ad in the paper? The fucking thing had to be on anti-anxiety meds and this was bnot the first incident! HELLOOOOOOOOO?! What is going through your head???

Regardless, Travis was like a son to Sandra. I know if my son ate the face off one of my friends and damaged a police cruiser, it might be time to call the social worker. Primates in captivity are never the answer, my friends.

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