Sunday, November 29, 2009
Douche of the Day: Snuggie Haters
As I blog this entry, I am laying on my couch, warm as a motherfucker in my god damn Snuggie. I am inspired by this so much that I would like to call out today's douche as the assholes who hate on the fucking Snuggie. You know who you are! Here's my theory. There are two types of people in this world. Those who embrace (literately) the glory that is the Snuggie, and those who secretly desire a Snuggie but live their lives in denial and fear of judgment. There is no need to feel shame of such a useful and fabulous product. Yes, the commercials are tacky, but fuck off. It's $20 for a fleece Technicolor Dreamcoat made by Jesus Himself. You can even have seksi times in the Snuggie!
You twats fucking know you lay on your lonely couches under your blanket, as the winter approaches, and you reach for the remote on the coffee table, (and you know we're all too motherfucking poor to heat the house all the time in the god damn recession), so you reach for that fucking remote and BAM! The freeze! Like Jack Frost blew his load all over your damn arms! You know it happens to you!!!! Well it doesn't happen to me. The rest of you all are douches and haters!!! Get a fucking Snuggie and STFU.