Douche of the Day: Speidi

It's a very special day in doucheland, for today you get a special two-pack douche. Today's douche of the day is none other than Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt (aka Speidi). I struggle to understand why these two assholes are even relevant. Heidi looks like the illegitimate child of Mr. Ed and Anna Nicole Smith and Spencer looks like Teen Wolf with his ugly bearded face. So they were on The Hills, which is arguably the worst television show in the history of mankind. I guess this makes them relevant? Whatever. If I have to see another "candid" picture of them, I might stab myself. Their lips are permanently attached to the dicks of the paparazzi because they also know they are not relevant.

So please tell me you saw them on "I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here" when Speidi had the Meldown of all Meldowns because they just couldn't cut the mustard in fucking Costa Rica. Are you kidding me? I would like to go there on vacation! They acted like someone dropped them in the middle of fucking Compton at 2am. And then they go up on The View like they're survivors of some big tragedy. Cry me a fucking river and float down it in your douche canoe. Youtube the interview. I'd post it but it annoys me to think about it.

What annoys me the most about these two douches is how they behave in such a way and then are all up into church like they are so hol, and then Heidi goes and poses on the cover of Playboy. Titties and Kitty 4 Jesus, definitely. Just like Miss Carrie Prejean. Oh wait, Heidi didn't show her kitty on Playboy, so Jesus must approve. And the John McCain/Sarah Palin worshiping during the election last year was almost too much... I know those sons of bitches don't even know what any of the issues even mean... Can you even spell recession?

Douche.